Posted: May 26, 2011 by ksteets in movies
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We’re back!!! As Pirates of the Caribbean reigns as box office champ, The Hangover 2 opens tomorrow. Both films feature monkies. Coincidence? Yeah, probably. So here we go with our second half of summer movie preview.

July 8th

This one’s a tough week. The big opening is this massive turd, The Zookeeper starring Kevin James. To help James win over a girl, the animals at his zoo reveal to him that they can talk and give him love lessons. The CGI looks atrocious, the voiceovers are horrendous and oh yeah, IT HAS KEVIN JAMES!! Saving grace in this is that it looks like in the end he ends up with the awesome Rosario Dawson instead of the shallow bitch he was trying to get with. And I swear I saw Joe Rogan in this trailer. Guess he signed this contract while he was really high.

The better looking movie opening this week is Horrible Bosses. Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and Charlie Day star as three friends who agree to kill each other’s bosses. The evil bastard bosses are played by Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Anniston and Colin Farrell. Jamie Foxx also stars. It’s directed by Seth Gordon who did the awesome documentary King of Kong: A Fistfull of Quarters and created the recently cancelled FOX sitcom Breaking In, which I thought was pretty damn funny. I really hope this slaughters Zookeeper this weekend.

July 15

IT ALL ENDS this weekend. The last chapter in Harry Potter’s fight against evil incarnate opens this weekend with Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2. I freely admit I never read the books and didn’t really like the first 2 flicks, I blame Chris Columbus. But since The Prisoner of Azkaban this has been a terrific series. The trailer is below but first check out these badass one character one-sheets Warner Bros. has been releasing. Including Neville Longbottom.

and here’s the trailer

Trying to get Harry’s leftover’s this week, Disney releases and all new Winnie The Pooh movie. Thankfully they aren’t sullying any of our fond memories of Pooh, Tigger or Piglet by trying to mix this with any live action stuff. It’s straight classic animation. So if your kid is too scared of fighting wizards, get them a jar of honey and take them to see this.

July 22

Marvel continues to expand their cinematic universe this week as we get sent back to World War II and are introduced to Captain America: The First Avenger. Chris Evens stars as Steve Rogers, a scrawny little kid who only wants to join the army and serve his country. In comes Dr. Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci) and his Super Soldier serum which turns little Steve Rogers into Captain America!! Our greatest weapon against Hitler’s Nazi regime. Of course Hitler has his own secret weapon in The Red Skull, played by Hugo Weaving. Captain America has been my favorite Marvel book for a while so I’m really looking forward to this one. Also introduced in the this adventure are Marvel U stand-outs, Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan), Dum Dum Dugan (Neal McDonough), Union Jack (JJ Feild) and Arnim Zola (Toby Jones). Dominic Cooper appears as Iron Man’s dad, Howard Stark and expect to see Sam Jackson’s Col. Nick Fury somewhere in the film as this is the final set-up for next summer’s The Avengers, directed by Joss Whedon. There we’ll get to see Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America, Thor (Chris Hemsworth), The Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo taking over for Ed Norton), Black Widow (Scarlett Johanson) and Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) as they take a recently seen Marvel bad guy, go check out the post credit scene in Thor if you haven’t yet already.

Justin Timberlake is back for the second time this summer with the amazing Mila Kunis in Friends with Benefits. I’ll give you one guess what the plot of this one is about. This could very well be the same movie as Kutcher and Portman’s No Strings Attached except it’s better because it doesn’t have Ashton Kutcher. Also besides Kunis this has Emma Stone and Rashida Jones. As much as I love Portman, she can’t fight off that team. The always great Woody Harrelson also shows up.

July 29

Director Jon Favreau brings us the adaption of the graphic novel Cowboys & Aliens. The title is self-explanatory and the film boasts an awesome list of credits. Produced by Ron Howard, Brian Grazer and Steven Spielberg, written and produced by Alex Kurtzman & Roberto Orci (Fringe, Hawaii Five-0, Star Trek) and Damon Lindelof (LOST) and starring Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde, Sam Rockwell, Clancy Brown and Walton Goggins (Boyd Crowder bitches!!!). This one should be a great a fun ride.

Steve Carrel’s first post The Office gig opens this weekend with Crazy, Stupid, Love. A generic story of a man whose marriage seems to be falling apart who seeks advice from young gun Ryan Gosling. Doesn’t seem like much but the trailer makes this one look pretty good. The directing duo of Glenn Fecarra and John Requa (Bad Santa, I Love You Phillip Morris) have a good track record and the film co-stars Emma Stone, Jullianne Moore, Kevin Bacon and Marisa Tomei. Bonus points in the trailer for a Twilight burn and the use of Muse.

Next we have something for the kids and anyone who wants to have their childhood memories ruined. The Smurfs crap their way to the big screen and this mix of live action and animation. Neil Patrick Harris and Hank Azaria appear in the flesh while Jonathan Winters, Katy Perry and Jeff Foxworthy are amongst the group that lend their voices as the little blue buggers.

I wanted to highlight this one although it only opens in limited release this week. Hopefully over the following weeks it’ll make its way to a theater near you. The Devil’s Double stars Domenic Cooper in dual roles as Saddam Hussein’s son Uday and the man he “hires” to be his double, Latif Ahmed. This looks awesome and Cooper has been getting early praise. Let’s hope it lives up to this trailer.

August 5

This seems to be the last huge weekend of the summer. There are highlights over the next few weeks and we’ll hit them below, but Rise of the Planet of the Apes looks to be the last tent pole flick of the season. James Franco stars as a scientist in modern-day San Francisco who’s testing cure for Alzheimer’s on our genetic predecessors. Of course it works better than they hoped and before you know it the human race is doomed. This also stars Freida Pinto, Tyler Labine and Andy Serkis as Ceasar the ape.

Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman get in on the Freaky Friday gag and switch bodies in The Change Up. Not an original idea at all but both guys are pretty damn funny. Leslie Mann plays Bateman’s wife and Olivia Wilde also co-stars.

August 12

Jessie Eisenberg re-teams with his Zombieland director Ruben Fleischer for 30 Minutes or Less. Eisenberg stars as a pizza delivery boy who enlists the help of his buddy Aziz Ansari when two lowlifes played by Danny McBride and Nick Swardson strap a bomb to him and give him 9 hours to rob a bank. Based on Zombieland alone I’ll check this one out.

The Halloween season starts early with the release of Final Destination 5. A bunch of kids survive a bridge collapse and Tony Todd returns as Bludworth to make sure they meet their doom in some Rube Goldberg style gruesomeness. Like the previous two entries this one will also be in 3D.

August 19

Our second scary movie of the season comes with the remake of the cult classic Fright Night. This time starring Anton Yelchin as the high schooler who must face off with his deadly vampire neighbor, this time played by Colin Farrell. Also staring Dr. Who himself, David Tennant, Toni Collette and Christopher Mintz-Plasse.

Another remake opening this week is Conan the Barbarian. Replacing The Sperminator is Jason Momoa (currently being a badass on HBO’s Game of Thrones). The basic plot remains the same Conan kicks ass across the land on a mission to avenge the murder of his parents. The baddies in this one are played by Stephen Lang (who seems to be the bad guy in everything lately) and Rose McGowen.

Robert Rodiguez brings us Spy Kids 4, which I can only believe is the last entry into the franchise since I think they’re 25 by now. Alexa Varga and Daryl Sabara return along with Antonio Bandaras, Carla Gugino and Danny Trejo. Also starring Jessica Alba, Jeremy Piven and the voice of Ricky Gervais. I couldn’t find a good trailer for this one so you’ll just have to wait and see on this one.

If you liked An Education, and you should have, you’ll want to check out Lone Scherfig’s follow-up, One Day. The film follows Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess who, after hooking up on the night of their college graduation meet up every year for the next 20 years on the same day. Both Hathaway and Sturgess are solid actors and An Education was such a great film so this deserves a shot. Plus I think I see Ireland in it.

August 26

In the last week of our preview we get yet another horror film, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. This one gets some pedigree on it as it was co-written and produced by Guillermo del Toro. Katie Holmes stars a young girl who moves in with her father and finds monsters who want to claim her as one of their own. Guy Pearce and Alan Dale (Charles Widmore from LOST) co-star.

Apollo 18 goes the Blair Witch way as decades old “found footage” of an abandoned NASA mission is found and shows the existence of alien life.

Finally the always funny Paul Rudd stars in Our Idiot Brother, a film that I think my sisters would like. After being released from jail for selling pot to an uniformed officer, Rudd spends his time crashing on the couches of his three sisters and causing chaos in their lives. Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, Emily Mortimer, Steve Coogan and Parks and Recreation cast mates Rashida Jones and Adam Scott co-star.

That’s it for now folks. Hit the comment section below and let us know which ones you’re looking forward to.

  1. Jacki says:

    You’re right your sisters will probably enjoy “Our Idiot Brother”!

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